Arachibutyrphobia
by Maidenhair
Summary: Erik and Christine are snowed in the opera. They decide to have a nice, romantic time when suddenly... This is a real Phobia that doctors treat. I didn't make it up.Chapter 2 is here.
1. Default Chapter

**Arachibutyrophobia**

Disclaimer: If I owned POTO I would be different……

Erik wandered through his labyrinth with quick steps. His silken cape billowed around him, and his golden eyes pierced the gloom of his lair. A song filled his tortured mind, and his long, spidery fingers stroked the smooth, snake-like lasso at his waist. Then his ears picked up a sound. It was a soft crying.

He followed it, curious, wondering who would be in the opera during this blizzard. Surly they were snowed in by now.

He traced the sobs to… could it be?... Christine's dressing room. He tapped on the mirror. "Christine?"

"E, Erik?" she stammered, "Are you here?"

"Yes." He reassured, feeling himself just to be sure, "Yes, I'm practically positive."

"Oh, good!" Christine sniffed, "Come in please! I'm so scared!"

Erik stepped through the mirror, "What's wrong? Why are you here?"

"I, I," Christine blushed, "I fell asleep, and now I'm snowed it. I'm scared of storms."

"There, there." Erik said comfortingly, patting her hand.

"There what?" Christine asked.

"Huh?" Erik asked.

"There what?"

"Oh, that's just a comforting phrase. It made you feel better, right?" Erik said sweetly.

"Uh, why would that make me feel better?"

"Because… Oh, um, I have no idea." Erik said.

Christine giggled, and took Erik's hand, and randomly pulled his mask off.

Erik gasped.

"Don't worry, I suddenly became mature during this storm and now I love you despite the fact that you look like someone caught your face on fire and put it out with an ice pick."

"Oh, darling that is so nice of you!" Erik sighed, "Snow must have magical maturing qualities."

"It's magic snow."

"That's what I was thinking." Erik said dreamily.

"When it lets up I want to build a snow man." Christine stated in her most grown up voice.

"Huh? Oh, ok." Erik replied, "Christine, I, I love you!"

"Really? Well, I have a head-ache, so I must love you too. Either that or the fact that I need glasses is causing me to have a migraine. Being in love is more romantic though." Christine said.

"Oh, I'm so happy!" Erik squealed gleefully, "Oh, and sorry about the head-ache, I have one too."

"You must be in love with me also!" Christine said, clapping her hands, "Now that we're in love what's next?"

"Well, I think that I should tell you that you're beautiful." Erik said.

"Ok!" Christine exclaimed, "Tell me!"

"You're beautiful!"

"Oh!" Christine sighed, "That's nice! Now what?"

"Now you should say that your father won't approve."

"My father is dead." Christine said, confused.

"Oh, well then, say that Madame Giry won't approve."

"Madame Giry won't approve." Christine said, "Now what?"

"Now we kiss." Erik said happily, "If you don't mind that is."

"Is it quite customary?" Christine asked.

"Yes." Erik replied.

"Is it fashionable?" Christine asked.

"Oh yes!" Erik answered.

"Oh, in that case." Christine said, kissing Erik.

"I, I, I, I," Erik gaped.

"Huh?"

"I have never been kissed before." Erik stammered, going into a brief angst-y mode that the Phan just L-O-V-E!

"Well, in that case…" Christine grinned and kissed Erik again, "This IS fashionable, right?"

"Yes, oh so fashionable!" Erik cried happily.

"Well, then…" and Christine kissed Erik again…

And again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again!

"Gah! I can't breath!" Erik cried.

"Breath out of your nose!" Christine said quickly before adding another kiss.

"I don't have a nose!" Erik wailed, "I'm suffocating!"

Christine stopped, "You don't have a nose? Then what's that hole in your face?"

"Huh? That? I have no idea! A cavity of the skin I guess." Erik said.

"Well, less talk more kissing." Christine giggled.

"NO! It's NOT fashionable to kiss that much!" Erik gasped, "I'M GOING TO SUFFOCATE!"

"Oh dear!" Christine cried, "Do you still have a head-ache?"

"Yes."

"Well, than at least we're still in love." Christine smiled.

"Oh, goody." Erik said weakly, trying to catch his breath, "Now what?"

"Now you serenade me."

"Ok!" Erik said, cheering up, "Where shall I?"

"Well, I would say out side, but considering the weather…" Christine gestured to the window. The snow was coming in a thick, white sheet and the wind was blowing a few trees down the rue.

"I'll serenade from behind the desk." Erik said. Then he began a song.

"It's soooo pretty!" Christine sighed when he was done, "Now what will we do?"

"I will give you a hug." Erik said, hugging her.

"And I will give you a pat on the head." Christine said, patting his head.

"And I will monologue for you." Erik added, "Christine is my love. I love her. She reminds me of my mother. I think she's pretty. She is very nice. I love her."

"That's so sweet." Christine sighed.

"And now I will sit next to you and hold your hand." Erik said, sitting next to her and holding her tiny pink hand in his large yellow one.

"And we will romantically eat chocolates!" Christine squealed, "I have a box of chocolate shipped all the way from a tiny German/Austrian settlement in Oregon America known as Mt. Angel, or Traggerville!" She grabbed the chocolate box and ate three or four. Then she handed it to Erik.

"Look's almost good enough to eat." Erik said giddily.

"You are supposed to eat them." Christine stated.

"No, I meant the box." Erik apologized, taking a chocolate. He took a bite. The rich, Benedictine made chocolate melted in his mouth. It was delicious. And then…. What was that sticky, nutty paste? Could it be? PEANUT BUTTER! Erik trembled. What if? What if? What if, oh horror of horrors, THE PEANUT BUTTER GOT STUCK TO THE ROOF OF HIS MOUTH!

His head grew tight, and his heart quickened pace. His face went pale, and he began a cold sweat. His twisted lips trembled, and his golden eyes watered.

"MILK!" He screamed, "MIIIIIIIIILLLLLLKKKKK!"

"What?" Christine asked.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKK!" Erik howled.

"Stop that! You'll wake the neighbors. Oh, wait there are no neighbors. Well, just cut it out!"

"G, good idea!" Erik reached for a knife and began to try and scrape the dreaded peanut butter from the roof of his mouth.

"Oh! Stop! You'll kill yourself!" Christine shrieked, snatching away the knife.

"THEN GET ME SOME MILK!" Erik gasped, wiping the blood from his lips.

"WHY DO YOU NEED MILK?" Christine demanded.

"The PEANUT BUTTER!" Erik choked. That was all he could say before he fell into a faint.

"Hey! That's my job! I'm the one who faints!" Christine sniffed indignantly.

**Well, that's all for that? Should it be two chapters? Is it good at all? Please don't flame! It makes me have a bad day and kill people. LOL. Ta-ta and all that jazz,**

**Maidenhair the Draver**


	2. This is the second Chapter

**This is the second Chapter**

Disclaimer: No, and I will not. I do like cheese. Yaya!

To Peoples:

To Bondaged Vampiresa: Ok, thanks for la review. I am random. runs about with aball of yarn mewing. Well, here's a new chapter finally. (You aren't a REAL vampire are you? runs away screaming with a bottle of instant garlic juice and a steak LOL.)

To Syen: Tra-la-la-la-la, oh bother the flowers of spring! 

To I Despise Raoul: Thanks for the review! Oh, I wish to clarify what you said about Erik not want Christine to be like his mother. You see, when a person is abused by a parent that person, (this is totally true and psychologists have proven this, my mom has a degree in psychology too and I listen to tapes on things about this sort of stuff sometimes) anyway, that person will unknowingly seek out a person that reminds them of their parent in the hope that that person will love them as the parent could not. This is why some people who had say alcoholic parents may marry an alcoholic. Ok, well other than that, thanks for the review!

To L-X-R: Hi. I sold my lost in a card game. Can you help me find a replacement? 

To Pimpernelunderthecelticmoon: My dear Wormwood –er- sis, hi. You are um… alive I guess.

To Nakomis: No, that wasn't a coincidence, I have magic powers and I had you IN MY POWER! Hahahaha! No, actually on second thought, it was a coincidence.

To everyone else: I am sorry, but I am too tired to respond, thanks 4 the reviews anyhow. ;)

When Erik awoke he was in a brightly lit office lying on a couch thingy.

"Heeeeeelllllllppppp!" he cried, thinking that, because the couch was pink, he might have died and went to… the place you don't want to go.

"Shush-shaw." Christine said soothingly, "It's ok, the doctor will see you soo."

"Huh?" Erik asked, "Doctor? What doctor?"

"His name is Dr. Renich, Rimnnie Ronnie Ronbolo Rebonic Rubella. He goes by Rob though." Christine replied, "He'll make you ALL better."

"Huh?" Erik asked again, "From what?"

"From your terrible phobia! You went all un-romance-y on me!" Christine answered.

"Sorry." Erik apologized.

"That's alright sweetie, you went insane. It's not your fault. Let's blame someone else." Christine said in her sweetest voice.

"Alright, we'll blame Raoul." Erik suggested.

"Alight," Christine agreed, "And for a really OOC effect I will say Ok, even though that its an American phrase." From then on Christine hated Raoul.

"The Doctor will see your freakish fiancé now, Mademoiselle." A nurse going under the name of Pimpernelunderthecelticmoon said.

"Thank you." Christine replied.

"Whatever." My sister, (who for some reason is in the fic) answered, "Now shut up while I go watch Sponge Bob the Movie. Come on Syen."

"How long will we have to wait?" Erik asked.

"An hour I suspect." My sister replied before she left.

"Oh, well." Christine sighed, "Now we can go in our tragic 'someone is sick' routine."

"Oh, good!" Erik cried, "Lets!"

"Alright. I go first." Christine said, "I will give you a big hug an beg you not to die."

"Yes!" Erik exclaimed happily.

Christine hugged him, "Don't die."

"Yay!" Erik cried, "Now what?"

"Now you must say that you won't." Christine stated.

"I won't." Erik said blandly.

"Oh, I am so relieved!" Christine sighed, "Your turn."

"Alright," Erik started, "I am thinking of a number between one and ten."

"Erik! You're supposed to be angsty! We have headaches, remember?"

"Oh, yes." Erik corrected himself, "I will say that I love you even if I might die which I won't because I'm suffering from something other than the physical."

"Good! Do it!"

"I love even if I might die which I won't because I'm suffering from something other than the physical." Erik said.

"Now I will cry tragically." She did.

"And I will join you!" and he did.

"And we will cry together!" and they did.

"What's wrong with you two?" a voice said.

The two crying lovers gazed up and saw the doctor.

"Um, nothing." Christine said, brushing aside some tears, "We, um, are in love."

Dr. Rob marked on his note book to be sure to schedule Erik some more sessions and to give Christine some as well.

"Alright Mr…"

"Um, do I have a name?" Erik asked.

"Oh, um," Christine said, "Let's think about this…"

"Oh, I know!" Erik cried, "It's Van Helsing! No, wait, that's not it… Frodo? Count Olaf? Harry Potter? Anakin Skywalker? Wonka? Igor? Fred?"

"It's close to Fred." Christine mused, "Like another form of Fred."

"No that's my first name, Christine!" Erik sniffed, "My first name is Erik which is just an short form of Frederic. Don't tell me you forgot my FIRST name!"

"Well, sor_ry_!" Christine scowled,

"Alright, how about… no that's that idiot's last name… Oh! I know… naw that's wrong… Just call me… what was that?"

"Ok, ok!" Dr. Rob cried, "I'll just say Erik! Alright Erik, what I want you to relax."

Erik went almost limp.

"Good!" Dr. Rob said, "Now watch the watch."

"Huh?" Erik asked, "Oh, yeah, alrigh."

"Don't you mean alrighT?" Christine asked,

"Sush!" Dr. Rob sushed, "Alright Erik, you are VERY sleepy! Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sleepy!"

Erik went into a trance. It was very lovely, because he looked thirty years younger, (and since this in this fic Erik is only about thirty five anyway… you guess the rest. Odd huh?)

"Awww!" Christine cooed.

"That's sick!" Dr. Rob exclaimed, "Oh! How silly of me! I have the watch on Haddix _Turnabout_ setting. Here's I'll fix it."

"No! I like him like THIS!" Christine protested, "He's so cute! I wanna dress him in my doll clothes!"

"No, sorry." Dr. Rob replied, fixing Erik's age.

"Humph." Christine said grouchily.

"Alright Erk," Dr. Rob began, "Lets hear about your childhood. Were you a happy child?"

"No." Erik said sleepily, "I had a bad time."

"Hmm," Dr. Rob grunted, "Did anyone hurt you?"

"Yesssss."

"With peanut butter?"

"Yes! My cousin used to make peanut butter balls an make me eat them without milk!" Erik wailed.

"Huh? That's not painful." Dr. Rob stated.

"It is when she plays the accordion!"

Dr. Rob shuddered at the name of the infernal instrument.

"He's luck to be alive!" Christine whispered.

"Yes, poor fellow." Dr. Rob sighed, "Well, Erik you have Arachibutyrophobia. Session over."

"No!" Christine called, "Now that he's in a trance we can ask him all his secrets and he'll tell us!"

Dr. Rob made an evil grin.

"Erik, do you bite your nails?" Christine asked.

"When I'm nervous." Erik whispered.

"Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?" Dr. Rob asked.

"Raoul's sister." Erik replied.

"What?" Christine gaped.

Dr. Rob laughed, "Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?"

"Yes." Erik sighed, "With a small, stuffed monkey I made when I was little. I am an insecure sleeper."

Christine and the doctor giggled.

"Do you like my hair?" Christine asked.

"Yes, it's big." Erik replied.

"Yay!" Christine sang, "Wait, big? Wha does that mean?"

"Do you ever bathe?" Dr. Rob asked.

"No." Erik answered.

"Ew!" Christine grimaced, "Alright, what is you guilty pleasure?"

"I like toy sheep." Erik said.

"That was random." Dr. Rob said, "Ok, do you have a guilty secret?"

"Yes, I'm anorexic." Erik said.

"That's obvious." Christine said, "You're as thin as a corpse! Alright, what other secrets do you have."

"Once I had a pet bunny named Dragon, I ate a newspaper once, I like silly poems, and I love the way you look when eating spaghetti."

"You actually have SEEN me eating spaghetti?" Christine asked.

"Yes, many times." Erik replied.

**He, he, he! Come on and review please! ;)**


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